Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, “What! You too? I thought I was the only one”. Friendship is one which stays with a person forever. A person is acquainted with many persons in their life. However, the trusted & closest ones become our friends. You may have a large friend circle in school but you know you can only count on one or two people with who you share true friendship. I rather be on my own than be in a circle of friends, I become more of an introvert maybe because of past experience.
Here are the kinds of friend in life:
•Bus friends are the kind of friends you have for a season and then they drift away. If you imagine life as a bus journey, these are the kinds of friends who sit next to you and chat companionably for the journey until they reach their bus stop and then they get off and go about their own business. You feel better for a while, but then someone else joins the bus at another bus stop and you find yourself lost in conversation again. By bus friends, I don’t mean acquaintances, the type you wave out of the window as you pass them. These are real, genuine, close friends but they are just for a season, while you happen to be traveling in the same direction.
•Convenant friends are friends you commit to for life but without necessarily the geographical proximity (and without sex obviously). They are your lifetime friends.
Do the people you call your friends always disappoint you? Do they put you down all the time? Do they abandon you when you need them most? If so, maybe it’s time to find a new definition of a true friend. Here are some things you look up for when you choose the people you trust with your friendship.
•A True Friend stands up for you: When others try to hurt you emotionally or physically, they do everything they can to make sure you stay safe. They don’t care who is trying to harm you; they will defend you anytime anywhere. They standby you consistently both when you are present and when you are not.
•True friends are authentic,honest and also, trust you: True friends aren’t phony with you. They’re honest with you when it matters most. When a friend opens up to you and shares their story, it is a testament to the trust and value they place in you. They are able to have difficult conversations in telling you things that sometimes you may not be eager to hear. The key is that they do it in love and with grace. Without trust you don’t feel comfortable enough to truly be yourself, so how can the connection be truthful or genuine? Though it can be nerve-racking to open up, when you do and when you fully embrace the trust between you and someone else, that’s when a true friendship blossoms.
•A true friend accept you for you: A true friend accepts you as you are. They will encourage you to become a better version of you, but they also help you see the beauty of who you are right now. They don’t get sidetracked by what others may say or think of you. They accept your personal growth and evolutions along the way because the value goes far beneath your personal style, interests, profession, relationship status, etc.
•True friends want the best for you: A true friend acknowledges your feelings but at the same, points you towards a healthier, happier life. They want to see the happiest and healthiest version of you. The encourage you to make the choice that will get you what you want in life.
•True friends are supportive: True friends are your biggest cheerleader while holding you accountable to your goals as well.
True friends won’t abandon you: True friends stay with you through traumas, disappointment,mental crisis and physical illness. They won’t abandon you just because it’s easier or more comfortable to avoid you. Because a true friend truly cares about you, they actually want to be there for you during your difficult times. True friends won’t ghost you. A friend isn’t around simply for the things you have in your life, they are around for you. So, when your life gets more challenging and you find yourself feeling petty or overwhelmed you won’t have to go through these challenges alone with a true friend in your corner. A friend in need is a friend indeed.
My dad always tell me, Jesus is your only friend. Do you know why? Because Jesus will never turn his back on you. Jesus will forgive you and still love you unconditionally. Nobody will show you the 100% complete characteristics of a true friend because we’re all imperfect beings.
“Everybody you call your friend might not be a friend. People pretend well. Sometimes, it’s the ones riding with you, that really ain’t riding for you. Sometimes it’s the ones closest to you, that’s silently competing with you. Just because they’re your best friend doesn’t mean they always want the best for you. Listen to me, don’t confuse the length of friendship to the strength of friendship. Don’t let the history keep you in the misery. Just because they grew up with you doesn’t mean they want to see you grow”.
In every phase of my life, I always ask God to show me my true friends and he always does. In 2018, I asked God to give me a study partner(friend) as a roommate in my ss3 because I really wanted to perform very well in my examinations. God eventually gave me a study partner(friend) as a roommate and I was so happy. Suddenly, I saw myself being my own study partner. I lost my study partner(friend). It hurt me deeply. My first result was out and it was bad. I couldn’t stop crying. That my study partner(friend) got an excellent result but my result was the opposite. I cried like my life was about to end. The results was very essential in my next phase of life. Meanwhile, the bad result I got is still affecting me till today. I prayed to God about everything that happened, It was too much for me to handle. God made a way for me instantly. Later, I got the best study partners, we all helped each other and we all performed very well in our next examination. I’m super grateful to God. I’m grateful for the lifetime friends I got from high school.
When I entered university of calabar in 2019, I had many friends. Every body I knew was my friend. I was always ready to help them anytime but when I needed them, they would always give excuses and sometimes even ignore me. I asked myself so many questions like, “what exactly did I do wrong?”,Why are they treating me like this?. I can’t count the number of times I broke down because of friendship. But Thank God, I finally realized that I had to ask God to show me my true friends and he eventually did.
Bad friends cannot influence me. Do you know why? Because I set boundaries and don’t let anyone have easy access to me. I realized I was taken advantage of and I got influenced in a way I didn’t like, so I had to do what was necessary.
False friends are worse than open enemies. A false friend will spill your secret even when there’s a slight arguement. A false friend will constantly judge you, put you down, drags down your fun, holds long grudges and talks badly about you to others.
A friend to all is a friend to none.
A friend is someone we turn to when our spirits need a lift.
A friend is someone who fills our lives with beauty, joy and grace.
A friend makes the world we live in, a better and happier place.
Friendship is both good and necessary. There is no disadvantage of friendship. The problem comes when you value your friends more than they value you.