SHALL WE BEGIN?
I began my year two on January 25, 2020. I was really excited about this phase because it showed that I was progressing in life. Furthermore, I resumed with goals for a new level and with the mindset of accomplishing them.
Yeah, I came back and met some new neighbors in my compound. I convinced my parents that I wanted to have a roommate which they agreed, but as time went by, we started having issues and I ended up living alone in my apartment as at 2020. It is really wonderful living alone, but there are bad effects too. I spent few months in school before ASUU strike commenced and then Covid-19 lockdown. Before ASUU strike began, my aunt came to Calabar to write her professional nursing exams, and invited me to spend some days with her at her hotel room. I enjoyed every moment at the hotel. It was so lovely.
Fast forward to March 31, 2020. I ended up celebrating my 19th birthday at home with my family and friends, and It turned out spectacular 💃🏽💃🏽.
I stayed at home for one year without going to school because of ASUU strike and Covid-19. One year at home?? I’m crying. I can’t; you mean I spent one year at home?!?! OMG! I’m screaming!
On December 19, 2020, I finally attended an occasion and that was my uncle’s wedding. I realized that I had grown so much in the span of ten months.
On February 7, 2021, I re-continued my year two. I’ve never experienced such breakdown academically, socially, mentally as I did in my year two. I asked myself, “Will I be able to get through this second year of school?”, “Will I be able to scale through?”, “Do I want to do this?” Lol, it’s not like I had a choice. I came back to meet new neighbors entirely, and they were all males. Omo, from Female Quarters’ to Male Quarters’…lmaooo
Since I came to University of Calabar, I’ve always had anxiety towards making friends. Apart from the fact that I’m an introvert in school, I just prefer being alone than being in trouble. But when I met my new male neighbors, they were more open to socializing with me than my previous neighbors. I was actually cool with making new friends and all but then at some point, I had to set my boundaries because I wouldn’t let them take advantage of the fact that I was the only female neighbor or because I’m cool and calm. When I returned for year two, the anxiety, procrastination, overthinking in me became worse. Waking up every day to new challenges, when the old challenges had not been solved completely, had me worrying so much. I even started experiencing depression. I asked myself sometimes, “Janet, what is really going on?”. Yes, I do pray to overcome overthinking, procrastination, depression and even carry out activities to reduce them. Most times, it works, but sometimes it makes me so overwhelmed. I can be online laughing over memes, messages, tweets and when I turn off my data to face reality, so many negative thoughts get stuck in my head. I start worrying about the littlest thing and end up crying to sleep. It was crazy. It felt like my year two wasn’t going to end.
On March 31, 2021, I celebrated my 20th Birthday. I turned 20!! wow! I’m an adult. It was one of the most memorable days of my life 💃🏽💃🏽.
My year two had me thinking if there was hope for me academically. I messaged quite a number of people asking them, how I can bounce back in my academics after a bad school session because it also affected other areas of my life and they actually gave me solutions but it was difficult to put them into practice. I was very distracted and couldn’t put their words into action. Sometimes, I blamed myself for past decisions that I made, that eventually put me in the position I was, which only makes the situation worse. There were days, when I’ll place my school notes, textbooks on my reading table, pull my sit closer to read, pray and then tell myself, “Janet, you will read these books and gain proper understanding and also finish reading them” but I either read like less than half of the books or I close the books and sleep. Whenever I think about school, I feel very worried, scared and I cry. When my result was out, it was the worst result I’ve had in my life. I couldn’t even believe it was mine because I really don’t think it’s my result. *Okay, why do I have tears rolling down my cheeks right now* I was in year two for two years?!?! OMG 😭. Words can’t explain how it felt. I really wish I knew all what I know now academically since my year one because I think my results wouldn’t have been this terrible.
One day, I told myself, “Janet, why don’t you work on your spiritual life?”. That was when I decided to apply for WOFBI MAY SPECIAL 2021. I applied for the Basic Certificate Course (BCC). I had ups and downs moments during my WOFBI classes, but by the grace of God, I was able to graduate successfully and happily 💃🏽💃🏽.
Not only that, but I also decided to serve God in the Media Unit in Living Faith Church Atimbo, Calabar, Cross River State. I themed this period of my spiritual growth as “Bounce Back Season” and I can testify that I’ve seen really positive changes.
Growing through the word of God has made me understand that you will always face challenges in life, but you will always thrive through them all. And also, with God, all of my goals are attainable. Additionally, you need God to connect you to your right destiny helpers because you’ll need them.
Moreover, I’m ready to MOVE ON! MOVE OUT! MOVE UP! MOVE FORWARD! MOVE SMARTER! So help me, God. Amen. Now, I’m so happy that I know better, and I will do better because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, Amen.